New Rescue Jokes

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says screw the women and children Joe Biden says do we have that much time?

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!” George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!” Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?

Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?

BLAZE RHYMES

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore, she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

sully: praised after landing in the hudson river garuda indonesia 421: sullys co pilot:

LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a LIFEGUARD

I hope you know CPR because you are taking my breath away!

Why was the north tower a bad doctor when the south tower collapsed? Bc the north tower didn’t do cpr

Why did the orphan like to jump. So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with there parents. 1 like=10 more orphans in my basment

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

How did the rich save the poor?

They didn't let them in the titanic

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids when he came out the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire , they called him hot wheels

Got kidnapped in Iran Luckily iran

Obama, Trump and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children! Trump Screw the women and children! Clinton: Do you think we have time...?

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.