my gay ass: i want to find jesus religous mom: FINALLY me: grabs a noose
There is no god. None not one.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake but his subjects showed up at his castle with a christian instead. And he said: NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
There never was a historical jesus christ. Hey do not even dream of crucifying me.
Jesus is the worst just joking he is the best Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle Jesus comes from Bethlehem😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar , '13 pints of water please' he says to the barman 'Oh fuck not you again' barman replies 'You boys are about to see something real special' says Jesus
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church.he said to the priest please say a prayer for me and the priest said ‘I ain’t got nun left’ then he died
its important to wash your sex toys
thats why priests invented baptism
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
don't want to learn the landing part though, allah said it's unnecessary.
finally some social platform where you can talk about muslims and not get bombed. obv, unless you share your residence.
Why do Priests play Geometry Dash?Cuz they can beat Demons.
why do you think after death the angle says do not be afraid search up biblically accurate angles
What did the priest say during the christening 'So anyway I started blasting'
Why do nuns not wear bra's? God supports everything.
So a man goes to church is dipped in water 3 times by a Priest as he says, " From now on your name is Michael and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol. " . Soon after the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips it in the water 3 times while saying, " From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol. " .
I wanted to open a Brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was unfortunately not so well received.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore
Because he has holes in his feet.
