what's a penguin's favourite relative
Kid: my parents want to meet you, you wanna come over. Orphan: Na I’m good, I’m going to watch home alone, it’s the only movie that I can think of that’s related to me.
Gwen if ur reading this the link I sent is for u and ur bf to chat and stuff no one shall bother u! Pinky pinky! Btw do U know how I am cause if do then I am related to kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry just chat with ur boy friend
what planet is related to planet butts. ur-anus
If there was a quiz on midgets here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it: 1. When midgets get High on any drug, do they get high or medium? 2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet 3. Are Midgets related to snow whites 7 Dwarfs? 4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario? 5. Was this funny?
Some people think incest jokes are funny. I just think it's all relative.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas (Even though cows can't really have religions)
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative, nothing they both make you cry when you look at it
I like my women like my family, they’re related
I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
That one awkward moment you try to relate to batman by killing your parents.
Orphan- I want to be a relator Teacher- Why? Orphan- Because I never had one in my childhood.
why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
because they are Sith-ters
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
"Are you related to Yoda?" "Because Yo-Delicious."
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
WHY IS THE SUN RED TODAY?Turned Red Today. Here's Why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I'm a fireman" The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!" The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
