Relations

Relations jokes

Kid

  • Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

    A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

  • 2
  • Bitch

  • Can't anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain't gon' buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y'all got Oompa Loompa hoes I ain't never knew ya hoes Prolly still ran through 'em, though.

    Oh, wait, wait, I, I do know your ho? You talkin' 'bout, you talkin' 'bout Tracy? Nah, you mean like, like, Tracy with the ass? Tracy with the, with the Honda? Shit, well.

    Oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby. Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby.

    Lil' bitch, I'm happy and I know it so I clap them fuckin' cheeks, yeah I'm happy and I show it to your momma in the sheets And I'm happy she's a freak ho, happy so my teeth glow Yeah, my bitch elite, I be clapping every week My neck, my back, got your momma on my sack My checks, my racks, it's the return of the motherfuckin' mack And I stay with the pack, though. Clap, clap, then I'm out the backdoor. Lil' Pillsbury, I stack dough. Walkin' with a limp, like a crack ho.

    Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby. Yeah, I said oops, baby. Fuck up on your bitch, like oopsy daisy. Never knew that was your boo, baby. Hit her five times in the Coupe, Mercedes, whoopsie daisy. Oops, baby. Gravy hit my bitch, yeah, whoopsie daisy. I just tryna hit, it's my duty, baby. Sippin' on the goose, like Boosie, baby.

    Dog

  • A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

    Baby

  • Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

  • 1
  • Funeral

  • My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

    But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

  • 0
  • Dog

  • A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

    The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

    Estate

  • A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

    "My paternal uncle died three months ago."

    "Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

    "It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

    "Then what's the matter?"

    "My maternal uncle died two months ago."

    "Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

    "It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

    "Then what's the matter?"

    "My father died last month."

    "Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

    "It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

    "Then what's the matter?"

    With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

    Funeral

  • When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.