Pros

Pros jokes

Kanye West

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

Self Harm

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

Abortion

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

Memes

Flight

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

ADHD

ADHD

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

Abortion

My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

Club

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

Orphan

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

Meat

Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

Hook

Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?

They both can throw a hook.

Rapist

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

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  • Child

    Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

    Programmer

    I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

    They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

    Mama

    Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."

    Pecker

    What do you call a black prostitute with braces?

    A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.

    Gun

    If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.