Pessimism jokes

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?

A Mexican't.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

You want a joke? My entire existence.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).