Pessimism jokes

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican? A Mexican't.

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

You want a joke? My entire existence.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.