Pessimism jokes

Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

You want a joke? My entire existence.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?

A Mexican't.

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.