How does a woman scare a gynecologist
By becoming ventriloquist
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spen the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
what do you call a stand up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?????????????
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work
Well I saw a stripper and she was try out bread
ever heard of rape jokes? no? well, i'll MAKE you hear em!
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism is always performing fellatio on his older brother? Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist? They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old
What do you call a pole dancer
A stripper
How did protestants performed in 16 century well done
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand comedy, oh wait.....
What is a group of singing terrorists called? a taliband
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."
