Peel jokes
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.