A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four.
I had a party the other day. I made sure their were vegan options they make do or fuck off.
Q: What did the late Canibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
when you forget the pinata at the birthday party. kids: Aww man. but the emo kid just hung himself. kids:Yaaaaayyy. Parents: Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
Your mum is so due on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper
i had a cake for my gender reveal party, i cut it and the inside was yellow....
I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow , there is no food , and the drinks are 10 miles away !
I hate stairs they are always up to something. I love stairs they are always down to party
I thought gender reveal parties were only for new borns, not for teen agers.
Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
next time u see a Brit, go up to them and say:
Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston'
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
can u go as a horse for halloween? well if u do i cant wait to ride u
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“
Mom👱🏻♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“
Dad👨🏻🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and know one is listening 😭😭😭
Your Hairline Receded like the girls did after the party
You cant spell Funeral without fun.
