Part

Part jokes

Wordplay

  • Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

    Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

    Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

    Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

    Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

    Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

    Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

    Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

    Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

    Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

    Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

    Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

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  • Sex

  • What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

    There's twenty of them!

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  • Dad

  • Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

    This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

    Love

  • Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."

    Shot

  • How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

    Symptom

  • - .... . / .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. / .. ... / -. . ...- . .-. / .- / -. . ...- . .-. -....- . -. -.. .. -. --. / .... . .-.. .-.. / .... --- .-.. .

    A block of black text on a white background describes someone's worry and possible fear. It mentions irregular heartbeat, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, pale skin, vomiting blood, and screams. It also mentions that someone's information was a lie and that something is horribly wrong with this family. The text concludes that Elyssa is screaming loudly.
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  • Cannibal

  • There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

    When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

    In heaven, an angel asks him why.

    “Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

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  • Friend

  • Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

    Me: My pop was a part of that!

    Best friend: So sorry!

    Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

    Rape

  • What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

    Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

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  • Nazi

  • Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?

    They couldn't beet the Nazis.

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