Part

Part jokes

Teacher

  • I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

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  • Dog

  • I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

    And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

    Rose

  • Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

    Wrinkle

  • What's the worst part about getting old?

    Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

    Television

  • So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"

    So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.

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  • Girl

  • I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

    The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

    The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

    LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

    Pee

  • When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

    I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

    People

  • I have two things I wanna say:

    1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

    2. wtf

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  • Game

  • Random words in my keyboard:

    The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.