Parent jokes
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
What do the N and F in "orphan" stand for?
"No family."
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.