Overweight

Overweight Jokes

Movie

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Weight

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

Yo mama

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

Number

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

Mom

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Tank

What do a tank and a warship have in common?

They're overweight.

Plate

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

Birthday Party

I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.

Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.

Weight

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

Feminist

What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?

The feminist is overweight.

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  • Marriage

    New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.