Out jokes

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?

"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"

R.I.P. Floyd.

Why did the orange lose the race?

Because it ran out of juice!

I was going to join the debating team.

... but someone talked me out of it.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.

Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.