Orphanage jokes
I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
rtuiyg.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.