Offensive jokes

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.

Where do you buy a dishwasher?

Hot singles in your area.

Woah, nice cock.

Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

Humanity.

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: Impatient feminist.

Friend: Impati--

Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?