Off jokes
Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?
Wash off the birch sap from the face.
Memes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
8 bit: Are you ok?
7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...
Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!