OED jokes
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.
Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!
Yo mama so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter O... OBCD.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.