OED jokes

Guy

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

Boy

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

Bubble

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

He couldn’t find the right solution.

Massage

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

Memes

Milf

There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.

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  • Nun

    Man: How tall is a penguin?

    Bartender: About three foot, why?

    Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

    Poor car.

    Orphan

    Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.

    Sister

    I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

    Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

    Orphan

    Why does an orphan start with an "O"?

    Because they only see their parents in their dream.

    Orphan

    Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

    Friend: What was the first?

    Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

    Friend: O-O

    Rabbit

    "A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

    Cow

    What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?

    A can o' bull.

    Mom

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Your mom.

    Your mom who?

    O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

    Mosquito

    God creates a mosquito :)

    God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

    Angel: okay... a bug.

    God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.

    Angel: weird... but okay...

    God: and give it wings.

    Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

    God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

    Angel: *shook* o-okay

    God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

    Angel: .-.

    God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*

    Angel: *cries*

    Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*

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