Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Now Jokes
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
