What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
teacher WHAT do you call sex making out with a ciw
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
i was listening to wap in my car with my four year old cousin and she asked why they dont fix the holes in the house then my fucking boyfriend what a hoe was and pointed to me i pushed him out of the car and my other boyfriend took the front seat
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
Doin (DYM 41)
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?
Nah, it's too cheesy.
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
