What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Two muffins are in an oven. One says "man, it is hot in here" the other one says "omg a talking muffin"
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Me :D
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Do you know wildee?
What's that?
Willdeeznuts fit into your mouth
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
911 am i right
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?
Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
