Never mind jokes
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless!
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Want to hear a pencil joke?
Never mind, it’s pointless.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.