Never mind

Never mind jokes

Dark Humor

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

Money

Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

Pencil

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

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  • Mustache

    Sir, I mustache you a question...

    Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

    Sync

    The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.

    Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...

    Orphan

    Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

    Fred

    Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

    In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

    As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

    She replies, "No".

    Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

    His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

    Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

    She replies, "No."

    Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

    His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

    After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

    His mom says "No."

    He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

    His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

    He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

    Penis

    You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

    Never mind, it’s too long.

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  • Guy

    Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

    Butter

    Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...

    People

    Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.