What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
