Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
whats the difference from morbid humor & dark humor
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers
what's the difference between me and a rapist? He forced her While i convinced her with a candy. she was just 7years old
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas? He got gloves. Ohh sry he cud never open the present.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it. “They see me rollin’, they hating”
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. Its kinda creepy.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats. My dog is named curiosity, and your cat is dead
Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
What do you find in jeffrey dahmer's shower
Heads and shoulders
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady but she just screamed and flew out of the plane
I got detention one day, I don’t know why I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist
What is bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it access the road
It got stuck in a crack
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o clock on new years. First kill of the match
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? is it just because i'm the only one with the bomb?
one day my friend said: i want tacos from Katie's, you? and i said no thanks and she left i never saw her again, today i remember that i saw her name on TV as one of the victems of suicide, then i remember her and I's moto: if i'm dieing you dieing with me you got no chouse, i NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
