Mom's jokes

Your mom #69.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

Me: I will f**k ur mom.

Orphan: I don't have one.

Me: ......

Your mom and your dad.

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

POV: You're an orphan.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your mom.

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.

How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.