The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE it's fine for someone to say boys against girls but the moment I say blacks against whites I'm the bad guy
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
that moment when the disabled kid has to take the pacertest
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky? It's between cheeks at the moment.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl
Sister: (moaning) go get mom, she'd love this Me: but Billy's with her right now Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM Dad: hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment..
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory?
Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle Apollo says "if you eat that buffet everyone you love will die". Up yours the man said what are they going to die of famine. Moments later there was a incident that took place in the restaurant everyone literally died. it turn the restaurant had a B-. I said is that really a thing groaning on the hospital. The doctor said know that is your condition you hepatitis B-.
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus Dying also in laughter.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: my grandma walk in while I was knife raping my wife.
tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: *whispers* yeah were fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is with an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!". "Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached".
I have more std’s then Hicks has friends at the moment I only have 1
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment Icecreamed
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
That one awkward moment you try to relate to batman by killing your parents.
the moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
