Model jokes
Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."