Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...
When the school shooter says "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Dear Gwen and Prince. Gwen and Prince sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest I really just wanted to be ur friends all both of u! Btw prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who aiden is! Sorry a milion times Zreina.
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay My sister has this crush and his name is Braylon so he text my sister saying he wants to hang out with her which I think means date so anyway I did this My text said "Hi braylon, I can't hang out today...or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" this is super wrong but funny! Braylon text back and said "Fine I can help" and I text back and said "Oh will come here around 10:00" And my sister did not know he was comeing....she was so embarrsed she was still in her night gown! HAHAHAH. O to the k bye thats the prankster!!!!
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet but she didn’t listen...
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
By:Xzavier
>Sell PC >Go to Croatia >Try to fly to the US to meet female >US wont let me in >End up in Norway >female leaves me >Female gets arrested by feds >Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics
Just another day in the defib life
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it's either yes or no.
Gf: ...
Bf: Well when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
So my dad said to me and my sister don't fight but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!
Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!
SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th
Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?
Its this girl named deaf waht a weird name but i know that cause i was ear hustling. But anyway evertime i call her she doesn't answer i wanna clap some cheeks tonight how could she hate me when she dont no me
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun
I tell a man get me a glock 19 he comes back with a glove i was about to shout at him but then i saw a pistol in his pocket so i left and thanked him
This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!
A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
gumball: what's that? Is it a twig? banana Joe: no. Darwin: Is it a leaf? banana Joe: no. Gumball: What is it then? banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”
Wife:hi babe Husband:Hey Wife:Do u wanna Husband:YES Wife:Ok make sure you have a towel to go to the beach Husband:WHAT you mean go to the beach Wife:yes what did u think i ment Husband:oh nothing bye Wife:Bye see u there
