Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Gay people would suck at war.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
