Military jokes
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Gay people would suck at war.
Stephen Hawking can't stand for army.