Michael jokes
Did you know Michael J. Fox’s favorite song is "Shake, Rattle and Roll"?
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
James Bond walks into a saloon where Michael J. Fox is tending bar. He says, "I’ll have a martini, shaken, not stirred."
Michael turns to him and says, "How else would I serve it?"
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.