Michael

Michael Jokes

Michael Jackson

In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

Chess

Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?

He can't choose between black or white.

Name

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

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  • Boat

    Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

    Michael Jackson

    "So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

    Helmet

    What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.

    Micheal Jackson

    Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

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  • Michael Jackson

    When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

    Baby

    POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."