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Shitpost master-general

A vintage-style instructional poster depicts a serious-looking man in a suit extending his hand in a 'stop' gesture towards a choker with a bell. To his left, a list of items includes a maid dress, cat ears, and thigh-high stockings, each with a green checkmark and approval text: 'Sure', 'Definitely', 'Yea'. The choker with a bell has a red 'X' and the text 'NO'. The top banner reads: 'KNOW WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE! Always keep in mind that some articles, while cute, may impair your ability to sneak and catch small birds and rodents, essential to your survival.'

A four-panel meme with text above. The top text reads 'ME: I don't understand why my asshole always hurts. Also ME:'. Below this are four images: The top left shows a jar of sliced jalapeño peppers. The top right shows a bowl of red salsa. The bottom left shows a pile of red chili peppers. The bottom right shows a person's torso holding a very large, ribbed, purple butt plug.

A close-up view of a silver laptop with its screen open, displaying what appears to be audio or video editing software. Three horseshoe crabs are placed on and around the laptop. One horseshoe crab is on the top edge of the screen, another is on the keyboard, and a third is on the laptop's palm rest. White text overlaid on the screen reads: 'My cats always brothe me when I'm on the computer' followed by a thinking face emoji and a beer emoji.

A screenshot of a Reddit post from the subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions. The post title reads "Dressing as MF DOOM for Halloween but I'm white". The body of the post states, "I'm always thinking of Halloween costumes and my idea for this year is MF DOOM but I'm white. Just wanting to make sure this is appropriate considering I'm white." Below the text are icons for upvote, downvote, comments (with "2"), awards, and share.

Proof that Heroin Monkey is OPAL

A screenshot of an online chat conversation. Multiple users are present: IndieRockBoat, RapBoat, Opal, Cosmo the Intern, and Heroin Monkey. The conversation shows IndieRockBoat repeatedly asking "Any of you listen to indie rock?" and then stating "sorry I live in McDonald's my internet is bad." RapBoat then comments, "That's how I know it's Heroin Monkey, he ALWAYS does that." Opal then insults RapBoat with crude language, which RapBoat then repeats back, seemingly as if impersonating Opal, and adds further crude remarks. The critical exchange occurs at the end: RapBoat asks, "You want me to pull an AG???" Heroin Monkey replies, "yes." Immediately after, RapBoat types, "Heroin Monkey yes." Below this, a final line states, "Bro forgot to switch alts."

among us gaming

A heavily deep-fried image of a Minion with a wide, distorted mouth and eyes, set against a vibrant red and orange background. The text on the left reads: 'The loudest screams are always the ones before death.'

Unimportant Intelligence

The image shows Hagrid's face and the text: "Did you know? Dumbledore always called him Hagrid whilst he referred to everyone else by their first name. That's because his full name was actually Hagrid Rubeus Hagrid. Hagrid is Latin for "The Hairy One" and he's so big his dad named him it twice."

A black and white image of a dinosaur looking into a ring camera at night. Text on the image says "I hate the neighbor's dog, always activating my ring camera."

A screen capture of an online post with Spongebob looking sad in the background and the text: "It's always 'goodnight' but never 'do you want a titty pic before I go to bed?'"

he don't hate me fully

A man with a beard sits at a table. The text above him says: "Always remember that God loves you, if he didn't, you would be an Indian rn."

A picture of Charlie Harper from the TV show Two and a Half Men sitting on a couch. The text on the image says, "Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better be safe than sober" - Charlie Harper

Evil Duck Lords Of America

A cartoon drawing of a group of yellow ducklings in a circle on green grass with a white duck in the middle. A speech bubble from the white duck says "Duck, duck, duck, duck..." A thought bubble from one of the yellow ducks says "He's gonna pick me. I know he's gonna pick me... They always pick me..."

Four cartoon cats are depicted with descriptions of their character. The first cat is a black cat labelled "problem clan" and described as wanting to be cool, being sneaky, and always ending up with villains. The second cat is a beige cat labeled "I am speed" and described as being small, saying "get off my land," and thinking it is better than you. The third cat is a light blue cat labeled "swimmy" and described as starting a fight over some rocks, eating fish and forgetting who some people are. The last cat is an orange cat labeled "protagonist" and described as doing no wrong, being involved in everything, and related to everyone.

A person's face is silhouetted in gray, with hands holding a heart in the center. The text says, "You're not alone. If you or someone you know is having a hard time, help is always available."

The image displays a screenshot from a video game featuring a menu with three options: "Give Up", "Try Again", and "Call Luigi". Text overlayed on the image reads: "POV: your insurance claim was denied by United Healthcare". Luigi is visible in the upper right corner of the image.

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

A layered cake with blue, pink, and white frosting is sitting on a white cake stand. The question is asked if the cake is scary and a comment below states that they have always wanted a cake that cuts itself.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

An image of a night sky with a projection of Steve Harvey's face made of light dots over Atlanta. A user comments that the lights are just stars.

The image shows a cartoon representing different national teams as balls with their respective flags, each in their group for the EURO 2024. Each "countryball" expresses a different sentiment or makes a joke related to their football reputation or chances in the tournament. The text across the image shows dialog and commentary for each country.

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