ME jokes

Prince

  • Prince/Lord Tallie: Leave Gwen alone for once! By the way, you are an idiot!

    Gwen: The Prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD, AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!

    Prince/Lord Tallie: Oh, don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late-night talk? My Wi-Fi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘

    Gwen: Oh, thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!

    Tanner: Fuck off.

    Kenya Bailey: Excuse me?

    Gwen: Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast, and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?

    Zre: Who the hell is Tanner?

    Ha: Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!

    Kenya Bailey: Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes.

    Ha: Yes, you're right.

    Zre: Ok.

    Zre: Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this is your toddler's toy! Even though I thought I was a prince.

    Gwen: I thought Prince was dead, so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.

    Priest

  • A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

    Priest: "What did you do, child?"

    Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

    Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

    Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

    Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

    Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"

    Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

  • 16
  • Friend

  • Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?

    Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.

    Carly (😟): What's wrong?

    Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...

    Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...

    Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???

    Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...

    Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!

    Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!

    Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.

    Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...

    Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!

    Sex

  • Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!

    Y’uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new “job”, so she is now leaving until the fall.

    Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!

    Y’uree (😯): I don’t know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!

    Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!

    Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm... mhmmmmmm... ummmmm... hmmmmmm... not a bad idea!

    Jarod (🤨): Or not?

    Y’uree (🙄): Shut up, man!

    Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!

    Y’uree (🙄😒): Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same

    Halyei (😊): Hello Y’uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

    Y’uree (😏): Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

    Halyei (😘): Thank you, I suck dicks too!

    Jarod (😒): Are you Breya???

    Halyei (😕): No... do I like that flying bastard???

    Jarod (😣): Ugh... no... baby, you’re free to go!

    Halyei (😔): Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! (😟) Sorry for being an idiot. (😔) I really miss her. (🤔) Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? (🙄) No, I’m not gay! ( ) WHY!!! (😌) Can you come to the please fuck me! It’s the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! (😨) Sorry!

    Sex

  • Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.

    Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

    Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

    Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!

    Jarod: Are you Breya???

    Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???

    Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!

    Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!

  • 4
  • Planet

  • Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)

  • 0
  • Whore

  • Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?

    Gina: Because they hit me on the butt!

    Bully: Yes, that must be cute!

    Gina: Hmmm...

    Gina: Do you want???

    Bully: 😍😍😍... sexy ass!

    Bully 🖐🏻🍑

    Gina😊

    Whore

  • Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?

    Gina: Because they hit me on the ass!

    Bully: Yuh, that must be nice!

    Gina: Hmmm...

    Gina: Wanna???

    Bully: 😍😍😍...sexy ass ever!

    Bully 🖐🏻🍑

    Gina😊

  • 0
  • Guy

  • A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"

  • 1
  • Pen

  • I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.

    I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!

  • 2
  • Dye

  • I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

  • 0
  • Imposter

  • Me: Bomber333 is the imposter!

    Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty?

    Then he read my username and knew.

    Pen

  • I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

  • 1
  • Asshole

  • Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!

    Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!

    Kariah: That's sad!