For all those Simpsons fans out there this one I'm sure you know Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you Homer: I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me-- no matter how dumb my suggestions are
You momma's so fat she started fat lives matter .. meetings are everyday 11 o clock mcdonalds 12 o clock kfc 1 o'clock pizza Hut
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Opinions are like orgasms.the only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
what do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
Little Johnny was living with his granpa durring the summer...Well grampa had a beer and Johnny said "grampa, let me get a sip of that" Grampa said "well lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" and lil Johnny said "well no sir"And grampa said then no you cant. Later that day papaw(granpa) had a ciggar and Johnny said let me get a hit of that and papaw asked well Johnny does your d**k reach your a** and Johnny said no again and then papaw was shootin his gun and johnny asked if he could shhot it and granpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a** and johnny sid no well after supper Johnnys granma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER) and granpa said "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream" and Johnny asked papaw "well papaw does your d**k reach your a** nd papaw said "well Johnny as a matter of a fact it does" and johnny said "good, now go fck your self cause you aint gettin none of my ice cream!"
These jokes are so dark that their life matters
2 simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you step 1. Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size) step 2 . Run through Africa with that bottle of water. Perfect now You got yourself half the population there following you
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
CoCoMeLOn mEmE,
no matter how fast i run, i canT esCaPE mY pRoBLeMs - - oULeH . . .
NoBoDy LOvEs mEh .v.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my mrs was playing with my cock trying to get it to go hard, she asked me whats the matter i said i just dont find women without hair very attractive
My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet
I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally
What do you call a dead hooker? It doesn't matter she won't answer you.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut becasue they don't.. yk for a matter of fact fuck all you guys..
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that. But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
"Hey kid why are you so fat" "Why did you insult him thats not nice" "It wont matter hes def"
