North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first. Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first." The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die." Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
