One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there”
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people? A mass murderer.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass produced coffin in a pre buried grave dug by machinery, that is then filled by mourners.
2+2+67+23= now calculate the mass of the Solor system be these questions these days
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide? When exactly my cult members drink the Kool aid
So I was at a funeral the other day and it was a school shooting mass funeral, and the lady beside me asked me, “ what do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “ How dare you you have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “well they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
a fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly a physicist saw it and said thats not how law of conservation of mass works plot twist the fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong now the physicist doesnt have mass
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
Uranus is larger than Neptune but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke also Neptune don't kill me)
Your forehead so big, Jupiters moons look up to it. If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy. Your forehead so big, its the main foundation for the wall of China. Your forehead so big, it makes up half of the Milky Ways mass. Your forehead the reason why the Earth still spins.
what's the difference between genocide and mass murder? genocide is racist
A man comes in to the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot and the nurse cleans the shot area. The next day the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job. The nurse was relaxing looking for a vacation to book when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sound like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots here are yours.” Said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand which is the ladies dominant hand so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper. 9 years later...... All along this man, this psycho escaped a mental hospital. He wen’t on mass genocide killing 20’000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human. More than alien. More than god himself...,. It was satan reborn.
whats a similarity between harvey weinstein's pants and american bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties
Covid 19 stopped mass shooting faster than the Government
