Mama Jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.

Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.

Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.

Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

IDK! WHY?

To go see yo mama!

Yo mama eats so much that she spends her whole life on the toilet.

Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

Yo mama's cheeks are red, I don't know why.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.