I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Everyone loves orphans,
other than their parents of course.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
