Longing

Longing Jokes

Man

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

Dream

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

Toothbrush

What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?

A toothbrush.

Baby

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

Depression

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

Test

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

Couple

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

Earring

When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. πŸ™„πŸ™„ 😁😁😁🀣

Cucumber

What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.

What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.

Chin

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Miscarriage

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

Number

1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!

Orphan

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.