Guess what's 'tiiiimmeeeee ABDE'?
....yes, it is long time no see
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
An old lady walks into an adoption centre and the lady that runs the business says “Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!”
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
If two blind people meet, one of them says: Long time, no see
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.
She told her "Hey, long time no see."
Hi guys the prankster is backster!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sisters tooth past bottle!
Okay so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tastying is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there so I got some mints and putted it there! Then next thing you new was! My sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzes buttock!
Jesus lives on a long time line, so he may seem slow to you.
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I never forgotten it... A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass...the worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back & another train ran over him and cut off his head... BAD IDEA & a lesson to us all... NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while, and says: "Long time no see!"
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke. Hitler says, “Yes.” Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?” Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
Long time no see
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more innapropriate. Guys, you don't need to be innapropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the lgbtq+ category. #PRIDE Anyway, I myself am not lgbtq+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
somtimes i look at my butt for a really really long time and suddenly it all becomes clear to me
Me and my mom order Chinese food. My mom grab the egg roll, and start licking it up and down, and sucking on it in from of the Chinese delivery. I said why are you doing that for. Then my mom I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food.
Long time since I made a joke huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one
