Lonely Jokes

For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bone."

"Bone who?"

"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

What’s an orphan's high school nickname?

Lone stone.

Why do y’all do this?

Because you're lonely.

Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?

"Lonely."

Why do orphans play GTA?

To make them feel wanted.

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)

One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.

Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"

"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"

"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."

Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."

Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."

Santa: "Done!"

Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."

Santa: "Done!"

Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"

Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."

Man: "Okay. Let's do it."

So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.

After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"

Man: "I am 35 years old."

Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"

Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

Why can orphans travel so much?

They don't get homesick.

Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.

What do orphans get at Xmas?

Lonely.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Answer: They don’t know where home is.

What song does an orphan hate?...

"I'm so lonely."

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.

Do you know what's lonely?

Your lips, wanna meet mine?