Log Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

Toilet

Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.

Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."

Pirate

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Mom

Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.

Stephen Hawking

What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?

"Log in."

Memes

Issue

Well boys how we gonna fix this issue

The image shows two frames. The top one is a photo of a fire extinguisher on fire. The bottom frame shows two panels of a cartoon firefighter with an alarmed look on his face and his finger up.

Dad

My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.

Insult

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

Poo

How does he go for a poo? He logs out.

Penalty

I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Prince

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

Stick

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

Security

One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

Tree

How do trees find each other? They log-ate!

Info

Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?

It took all his info!

Memes

Newspaper

A comic strip shows people dressed in Harry Potter costumes waiting outside a store with a sign that reads 'Midnight Sale'. The text reads 'THE PAST... "IT WAS THE EARLY 2000s. A TIME WHEN WE ALL LEARNED TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AGAINST SPOILERS." I'VE AVOIDED READING NEWSPAPERS AND EVEN LOGGED OFF OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK ISN'T RUINED FOR ME. "ME TOO! I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK MY GEOCITIES PAGE UNTIL I'M THROUGH THE BOOK!" MIDNIGHT SALE SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! -OOOOOOOORRRRE! NOOOOOOOO!'. In the next panels, Deadpool in a Harry Potter themed cloak spoils the book.

Beaver

A beaver sitting in a car at a drive-through orders a "log". The text on the image says "lemme get uhhhhh log".

Teacher

Spongebob at a computer looking at "Jerkmate" after being asked to log off.

Account

managed to log into cupcakes mcdonalds account

Screenshot of the McDonald's app showing 2,010,520 points in the My Rewards section.

WiFi

Time

The image shows four panels, using characters from the Phineas and Ferb show. The first two panels show Perry the Platypus logging into a new device, first a smartphone, then a laptop. The third panel shows Doofenshmirtz yelling "WHO ARE YOU?!" and the last panel shows Doofenshmirtz saying "Oh good, you're back! Did you know that some hacker just tried to hack your account?"