If trees could kill you, they wood.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into
Home Depot
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Men: get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich! Women: go chop some lumber! White people: get back into the cotton fields!
