Timber jokes
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Lyla Annabelle Reeves - STL Missouri - Timber Tree.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.