Timber jokes

If trees could kill you, they wood.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!

Lyla Annabelle Reeves - STL Missouri - Timber Tree.

I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).

Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?

Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?

They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"

Trees are so social. They're always branching out.