Timber jokes
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Lyla Annabelle Reeves - STL Missouri - Timber Tree.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.