Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
My sis a fat cow.
moo.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
I am a sheep.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
