Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Jokes
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
