Lincoln jokes

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where’s Trump’s clock?"

"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.

No one:

Literally no one:

Abraham Lincoln: *dies*

John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*

JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?