Lightyear jokes

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

Me: The light wow brighter than my future.

The sun is already bright, stupid!

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."